Hyderabadi Hindi "Chindiyaa hai"...good Joke Blasts your stomach

In Hyderabad we have our own little Johnny. His name is "HOWLA". His father is ambitious to educate 'HOWLA'. 'HOWLA' goes to school located in Afzalgunj. Its principal is educated in Urdu medium high school and claims that he passed tenth class!
There is a school inspection the next day and the conversation is as follows :

Teacher: Kal inispector ayinga. Kochchanaa(questions) puchinga. Sab achchaa padkey aau. Koi galath answer deengaa naa tho main uske pairaan thodtoom.

HOWLA: Iski maakki. Kyun aara inispector? Kaam nai hai usku? Kya kochchanaa puchta kathey?

Teacher: Abey tereku kaiku re, tu kal school aanaaich nai. Tu tera moo khola to gaaliaan aati. Tereku main absent nai daalthaum. Ghar pe baithkey gotiyaan khel. Tu school aayingaa to inispector ke saamney mere izzat ki biryaani karke khaaingaa tu.

So our HOWLA is excited, goes home and tells his father that he is Not going to school the next day.

Father: Yeah kyaa hai... ischool hai ya paan dabba? G**d pe maartoom saale tu ischool nai gaya to.

HOWLA: Arey Bava, mera teacher bola nakko aao bolke.
Father: UskO akhal hai!? Begum suno! HOWLA ischool nai jayinga kathey kal. Agar ino ischool nai gaya to kaise padhinga? HOWLA, agar tu kal ischool nahin gaya naa, tere haathan pairaan thod daaltaum.

So HOWLA cries and finally agrees to go to school.
Next day at school, Teacher is very upset to see HOWLA back.
Teacher: Arey teri maakki. Nakko aao bole to bhi kyun aaya re?

HOWLA: Mera bava g**d phodtum bola ischool nai gaya to.

Teacher: offo?! Tera bava bola? Theek hai chal. Last bench pe baith aur inispector aya to chchup jaa. Dikhnaich nai. Kuch bhi gadbad karinga naa meri noukri g**d lag jayingi.

So HOWLA goes to sit in the last bench hiding behind a tall guy.

Inspector comes for the visit.

Inspector: Adaab...!

Teacher: Adaab saab...!!! Bachey acha padrain saab. Kochchanaa puchey to answeraan yun bolte.

Inspector: Abaa? Offo! Ithney kilever hai aapke bachchey? Achchaa,
ek bahuth easy sawaal - - -

Hamarey body mein sab se nazook cheez kaun si hai?

Teacher: Arey Imtiyaz tu bata rey!

Imtiyaz: Saab, Khaleja (HEART) saab.

Inspector: Aisa! ..... woh kyun?
Imtiyaz: Saab, khaleja hai to sab kuch hota. Agar woh gaya naa, kuch bhi nahin hota saab.

Inspector: Abaa, kya tez potta hai rey! Aur koi?

Teacher: Arey Akram, tu bata re.
Akram: Saab bheja(Brain) saab..! Bhejey ku khuch bhi hua to kuch yaad nahin rehta saab. Haathaan pairaan kaam nai karthey, iscooter ku kick bhi nai maar sakthey saab.

Inspector: Abey Teacher, kya kya padaaraa re inku tu.

Chu**ye ke jaiseich answeraan bolrai naa!!
In the meantime, HOWLA is trying very hard to hide but Inspector sees him. He thinks HOWLA is hiding because he does not know the answer.

Inspector: Woh last bench pe yun jhuk ke baithaa naa woh pottey ka naam kya hai?

Teacher: kaun saab? ........Woh! (iski *** ki, kaiku dikhaa re tu) Woh HOWLA hai saab.

Inspector: HOWLA? Ye kya naam hai? Kahan-kahan se lagaathey re bhai naamaan! HOWLA, woh lambu ke peechchey kaiku chchup raa tu?

HOWLA: Saab main moo khola to teacher maaringa saab.>
Inspector: Tereku yaa mereku??
Teacher: Arey kya baath kar reh saab, main kaiku maarthaum aapku. Ye potta ekdam badmaash hai saab, jhoot bolraa. Abey HOWLA, answer maloom hain to bol, nai tho khaamoosh baith jaa mere baap, tere pau padthaum.

HOWLA: Saab answer G**d hai saab.

Teacher: Allah!!! Ino moo khola meri g**d lag gayi re!!!
Inspector: Abey kyaa to bhi bolra re! Sharam kar badon ke saamney aisaich baathaan karthey!

Yeich sikhaaye tumhaarey amma-bavaa? G**d kahaan kaa answer hai re?

HOWLA: Hau saab, g**d ich sabse naazook cheez hai. Kaiku boletho wahaan pe dilli mein baamb
phata....Yahan Hydrabad mein apni g**d phat thi.. Yahaan old city mein gadbadaan shuru hothey....wahaan new city mein sabki g**d phat thi gadbadaan wahaan phailtey kyaaki bolkey. Uttaa kyoon saab, main yeh answer bolraun naa, mere teacher ki g**d phatrai dekho!!!!

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Its very easy and fun to hyderabadi speak… Some of the words are below:

Never say nahi use “nakko”

Replace haan with “hao”

Don't ask kyun say “kaiku”

If confused just say “maire ku kya maloom”

We call Stupid “haula” in hyderabadi…

Some of the used sentences….(try to read it in normal hindi accent)

“Khaali pili tum logan time kaiku waste kar rahe … lite lo mama…..”
—–> why you people are wasting your time just chill.

“baigan ki tumhari…. Kya houla ho gaya kya?? Kaiku dum karra ? panchkad khayega phukat mein “
——> “brinjal of yours…. Have you gone mad .??why are you irritating me ? you will unnecessarily get a slap from me.

"Kya mamu, kya baataan karte tum"
->Dude, what are you talking

"aage kuch bhi nakko poocho miyan!"
->don't ask anything more dude

"hau re, Hyderabad me to aisa hi hota"
-> Yes buddy, this is how it happens in Hyderabad

"pata nai kaiku dimag kharab karre yaaro subah subah"

"Yaaro, unne dhakkan logaan hai, unno kya maalum ki Hyderabadi hindi aisai bolte"
-> what should I say about those jerks, we speak Hindi like this only in Hyderabad

"kya mamu, kaise hain tum... aaj kal dikhraich nai?"
->long time no see

"hona bol ke"
-> Wantedly

“kya to bhi hai ye… maakikirkiri”
——-> whats that man … maakikirkiri

Here in Hyderabad if you ask for direction then the answer you get is
"seedha chale jao"
"tumhaareku pachhees turnaa lena padta" (you have to take 25 turns)

People here use "parso" for yesterday dayafter or 1 month or 1 year back.

and the most popular, In case of any problem just say

“lite le mamu “

this is the language of general crowd in hyderabad. I am sure most of you must be finding it difficult to understand but if you stay in Hyderabad then you should atleast give it a try.

“Bhai logan try karne main kya zarra”.

Ain't it fun!!! "Chindiyaa hai" (Superb)!