Pakistan International Airline (PIA)
Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your
captain Welcoming both
seated and standing passengers on board of PIA. We
apologize for the
four-day delay in taking off, it was due to bad
weather and some overtime I
had to put in at the bakery.
This is flight 717 to Lahore. Landing there is not
guaranteed, but we will
end up somewhere in Pakistan. And, if luck is in our
favour, we may even be
landing on your village!
PIA has an excellent safety-record. . In fact, our
safety standards are so
high, that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us!
It is with pleasure; I announce that, starting this
year, over 30% of our
passengers have reached their
destination.
If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger
request, we can arrange
to turn them off! To make your free fall to earth
pleasant and memorable,
we are the only airline who can help you find out if
there really is a God!
We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie
will not be shown as
we forgot to record it from the television. However,
for our movie buffs,
we will be flying right next to Emirates Airline,
where their movie will be
visible from the right side of the cabin window.
There is no smoking allowed in this airplane. Any
smoke you see in the cabin
is only the early warning system on the engines
telling us to slow down!
In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly
as close as possible
for the best view. If however, we go a little too
close, do let us know.
Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right
through the landmark!
Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright
position for take-off and
fasten your seat-belt. For those of you who can't find
a seat- belt, kindly
fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat. And, for
those of you who
can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch
with a stewardess who
will explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase.'
'Thanking you all for choosing PIA to fly for the
first and probably the
last time.'
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